“Do I Have ADHD or Autism?” Why Thoughtful Testing Matters

If you've ever scrolled through social media and thought, "Wait... that’s me," you're not alone.

So many people—especially women and folks who were missed in childhood—are finally seeing themselves reflected in posts about ADHD or autism. It can be incredibly validating. For some, it's the first time their struggles with focus, overwhelm, emotional regulation, or social energy have a name. A story. A sense of belonging.

That’s powerful.

But here’s the thing we want you to know, gently and with great care: validation doesn’t equal diagnosis. And it’s so important that we pause and get it right.

What We’re Seeing

Diagnoses of ADHD and autism are rising—and with that rise comes an increase in overdiagnosis. Research confirms this. A 2021 scoping review published in JAMA Network Open analyzed over 300 studies and found strong evidence that ADHD is frequently overdiagnosed and overtreated—particularly in children with mild symptoms or those on the younger end of their school cohort.

But overdiagnosis isn’t just happening in kids. It’s becoming increasingly common among adults as well—often in response to real suffering, but without a full understanding of its origin.

And let’s be clear: this post isn’t meant to be inflammatory or to step on toes. It’s about transparency—because accurate diagnosis can change lives for the better, and rushed or incomplete diagnosis can create confusion, harm, and missed opportunities for real healing.

Why Is Neurodivergence Being Overdiagnosed?

This is a nuanced issue, but here are several key reasons:

• Broadening of diagnostic criteria: Definitions of ADHD and autism have expanded over time to be more inclusive. While this has helped many who were previously overlooked, it also creates fuzzier boundaries that can blur clinical clarity.
  

• Social media influence: TikTok and Instagram are powerful spaces of validation—but also oversimplification. Many people relate to traits associated with ADHD or autism, especially when overwhelmed, under-supported, or burned out. Under stress, it’s common for anyone to experience traits that look like ADHD:

  • Difficulty focusing or finishing tasks

  • Forgetfulness and disorganization

  • Restlessness or irritability

  • Avoidance of boring or complex responsibilities

  • Energy or motivation swings

  • Fast speech or impulsivity

  
  

  Similarly, burnout can mimic autism-related traits:

  • Social withdrawal or shutdowns

  • Sensitivity to light, sound, or touch

  • Strong desire for routine or predictability

  • Emotional flatness or rigidity

  • Difficulty with eye contact or attunement due to fatigue

  • Struggling to read others’ emotions while emotionally depleted

  These responses are real and worthy of compassion—but they don’t necessarily point to a neurodevelopmental diagnosis. They may instead signal trauma, anxiety, chronic stress, or nervous system dysregulation.
  

• Access to services: In many settings (ex, schools), a diagnosis is the ticket to receive accommodations, therapy, or medication coverage. Sometimes it’s the only path to getting help.
  

• Cultural trend: Diagnoses rise and fall in cultural visibility. Just as we saw a spike in bipolar diagnoses in the 2000s, we’re now in an era where ADHD and autism are more visible and socially normalized, making them more likely to be considered—even prematurely.
  

• Limited clinician training: As LCPCs, LMFTs, and LCSWs, we are legally allowed to diagnose. But the truth is that most of us had one course during graduate school that attempted to cover a wide range of disorders and assessments. That doesn’t make us specialists in neurodevelopmental conditions.
  

• Symptom overlap: Traits like emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, and sensory sensitivity can show up in trauma, anxiety, depression, or high stress—not just ADHD or autism. Without a thorough intake and differential assessment, it's easy to misdiagnose.
  

A Story That Stays With Me

I’ll never forget Brian.

Brian was one of the most traumatized clients I’ve ever supervised care for—his story was intense, layered, and deeply heartbreaking. He struggled with social anxiety, depression, and active suicidal ideation, which made perfect sense given his history of early neglect, abuse and abandonment.

Brian’s medical doctor referred him for an in-house mental health screening. He was assigned to an intern, supervised by an LCPC. In a 45-minute session, Brian was given a brief screen for ADHD and autism—and “tested positive” for both.

His therapist (seeking consultation with me) was surprised. “How did I miss this?” she asked. I was baffled too. I encouraged her to go back and ask if a full history had been taken or whether assessments for trauma, anxiety, or depression had been included. The answer was no.

Still, Brian embraced the diagnosis. He felt seen—something he had rarely felt before. And for a time, it helped.

But six months later, that intern and supervisor had moved on. A new therapist reviewed the file and questioned the diagnosis, requesting a more thorough evaluation before continuing treatment. Brian was referred to a psychiatrist, who intentionally ignored the previous assessment to avoid bias.

This time, the evaluation came back negative for ADHD and autism. Instead, it confirmed trauma-related disorders.

Clinically, this felt right. His therapist and I were relieved. But Brian was devastated.

The validating identity he had clung to was stripped away. He returned to feeling like a broken, misunderstood child—confused, abandoned, and full of shame. He felt as though the one thing that had made sense was taken from him. This hasty diagnosis actually set Brian back months in the good therapy he had been doing.

“Isn’t It Kinder to Just Say Yes?”

We hear this question sometimes—especially from well-meaning clinicians and family members:If someone feels validated and seen by a diagnosis, and gets the services they need, isn’t it kinder to just go with it—even if it’s a little fuzzy?

We get it. We really do.

But here’s why it’s not always kind—even when it feels compassionate in the moment:

• Misdiagnosis leads to mistreatment. When we treat ADHD but the real root is trauma, we might soothe some symptoms while reinforcing disconnection or avoidance—missing the chance for deeper healing.
  

• It can destabilize identity. A diagnosis that is later reversed can leave a client feeling duped or ashamed, undermining their ability to trust themselves—or future providers.
  

• It follows them. Diagnoses aren’t just emotional—they live in medical records, insurance databases, and future provider notes. A mislabeling can affect someone’s access to care for years. Additionally, it can impact career prospects as well as life insurance coverage.
  

• It can become a bypass for emotional responsibility. We’ve seen diagnoses used—sometimes unintentionally—as a way to sidestep deeper growth. When everything is explained through a diagnostic lens, it can stall accountability and complicate relational repair. Clients may struggle to recognize their impact on others, thinking, "This is just how my brain works," rather than, "This is something I can work on."
  

• It breaks trust. When a diagnosis is later called into question, clients can feel abandoned and betrayed. Even when the clinical picture becomes clearer, the emotional fallout can be painful.
  

So no—kindness without accuracy is not always kind.True care means slowing down. Asking more questions. And sometimes saying, “I don’t know yet, but I want to keep exploring this with you.”

About Medication and the Allure of Relief

It's also worth noting that most people feel better on stimulant medications—whether or not they have ADHD.These meds increase focus, energy, and motivation, especially in folks who are exhausted or overwhelmed. But a positive response to medication does not confirm a diagnosis. It simply shows that the medication had an effect—which is true for nearly everyone.

What We Recommend

If something in you resonates with the language of ADHD or autism, we’re not here to dismiss that. You’re not imagining your pain or your patterns. There’s real wisdom in what you’re noticing.

We just want to make sure that if a label is offered, it’s accurate, earned, and rooted in the full story of your life—not a 45-minute session or a checklist.

At Little Bear Counseling, we approach diagnosis with care, collaboration, and humility. We listen closely. We slow down. And when needed, we refer to psychologists or psychiatrists who are trained in in-depth, multi-method assessments. Because your diagnosis—if there is one—should feel right, not just relieving.

You deserve clarity. You deserve to feel seen.And you deserve support that honors the full complexity of who you are—not just what you’re struggling with.