Supporting Your Nervous System After a Sudden Traumatic Event

Trauma is a body shock. By Rachael Maher, MS, LCPC, LMFT

In the first hours and days after a traumatic loss, something profound happens in your body. Your nervous system shifts into high alert. Cortisol rises. Sleep becomes difficult or impossible. You might feel shaky, numb, wired, or completely overwhelmed—sometimes all at once.

If this is where you find yourself right now, please know: these responses are normal after something life-altering.

Your body isn't broken. It's doing exactly what bodies do during profound shock. It's trying to protect you, even when the threat has already happened OR the direct trauma hasn't even happened to you.

The practices below aren't meant to fix the pain—nothing can do that. But they offer small, evidence-supported ways to help your nervous system soften and ground, so you can get through each hour with a little more steadiness.

Small Steps for a System in Overwhelm

1. Sip Something Warm

There's something deeply calming about wrapping your hands around a warm mug. Warm liquids signal safety to your nervous system and support a down-shift in the stress response. Even warm water or broth can help your body settle.

2. Apply Gentle Weighted Warmth

A warm compress or weighted blanket across your chest or shoulders can slow your heart rate and support what's called "vagal calming"—the process that helps your body remember it's safe.

3. Use Slow "Extended-Exhale" Breathing

Try this: Inhale for 4 counts, then exhale for 6–8. Those longer exhales help turn off the fight-or-flight response. You don't have to do it perfectly. Just letting your exhale be a bit longer than your inhale can make a difference.

4. Ground Through the Feet

Press your feet into the floor. Notice the contact. Feel the support beneath you. When your mind is racing or your thoughts feel untethered, grounding through your feet helps anchor a racing system. This works even better if you do this barefoot on grass, dirt or sand.

5. Choose Gentle Movement

Your body is holding adrenaline. A slow walk, rocking in a chair, swinging in a porch swing or even pacing with intention helps release some of that intensity and keeps your body from getting stuck in shock.

6. Consider Magnesium Support

Magnesium glycinate or L-threonate can help soften muscle tension and support calmer physiology. Please check with a medical provider first, especially if you're taking other medications.

7. Use L-Theanine or Chamomile

These gentle supports may quiet racing thoughts and soften cortisol spikes without causing grogginess. L-theanine is found in green tea, or you can take it as a supplement. Chamomile tea is another option. Please check with a medical provider first, especially if you're taking other medications.

8. Eat a Small Protein-Rich Snack

We often lose our appetite in stressful and traumatic times. But when your blood sugar crashes (and it does when you don't eat), so does your ability to cope. Stable blood sugar helps stabilize the nervous system. A few bites of yogurt, nuts, cheese, or jerky can help—even if you don't feel hungry.

9. Co-Regulate With a Safe Person

You don't have to talk. You don't have to explain anything. Just sitting near someone calm can reduce sympathetic activation and help you breathe again. Sometimes presence is everything.

10. Lower the Stimulation Around You

Your nervous system is already maxed out. Dim the lights. Reduce noise. If you're watching screens, try using blue light blockers and watch something slow and maybe even boring. Give yourself permission to need less input while you're overwhelmed.

11. Touch a Textured or Grounding Object

A smooth stone, soft blanket, or wooden object can anchor your attention when your mind is spinning. This is called "tactile grounding," and it works by giving your brain something concrete to focus on.

12. Keep Your Body Warm

Shock often lowers body temperature. Warm layers, socks, blankets, or a gentle warm shower help restore a sense of safety at a physiological level.

13. Try Calming Aromatherapy

Lavender, bergamot, or frankincense can help soften stress activation for some people. If scents feel overwhelming right now, skip this one.

14. Take a 10-Minute "Micro-Rest"

Even if you can't sleep, lying down with your eyes closed for a few minutes helps cortisol settle and gives your system a break. You don't have to achieve sleep. Think of resting for your nervous system whether you sleep or not.

15. Take a Warm Shower or a Soak

Warm water cues the body that the immediate threat has passed and encourages the parasympathetic system—your body's "rest and digest" mode—to come back online.

What to Remember

Your body is doing exactly what bodies do during profound shock.

You're not falling apart. You're holding an impossible amount, and your system is responding to that reality.

These practices won't fix the pain—they simply support your system so you can get through each hour with a little more steadiness.

Please reach out to your providers, support people, or crisis resources if you feel unsafe, overwhelmed, or unable to care for yourself.

The Research Behind These Practices

These aren't just nice ideas—they're grounded in trauma neuroscience and somatic psychology:

• Polyvagal Theory & safety cues: Warmth, pressure, and social connection help shift the nervous system from threat to safety. (Porges, 2022)

• Somatic therapies & grounding: Body-based awareness and sensory grounding reduce hyperarousal and promote regulation. (Frontiers in Psychology, 2024)

• Slow exhale breathing: Longer exhales increase vagal tone and help regulate cortisol. (Birchwood Clinic, 2023)

• Grounding interventions: Sensory grounding reduces distress in acute stress responses. (PMC10105020)

• Magnesium: Magnesium deficiency is linked to anxiety and dysregulation; supplementation can support calmer physiology. (PMC7761127)

• Co-regulation: Safe social proximity can down-shift arousal and support autonomic stability. (PMC10453544)

• Tactile grounding: Touching textured objects supports sensory anchoring and reduces overwhelm. (ScienceDirect, 2022)

• Warmth & environmental softening: Support parasympathetic activation during anxiety and stress. (Brentwood Therapy Collective, 2023)
  

If you're supporting someone through acute grief or trauma, feel free to share this post. Sometimes having concrete, gentle suggestions can be a lifeline when nothing else makes sense.